Sigma Team Volume 1
by BlueAkula
Summary: A team of Andrew Dunn, Ryan Simmons and Richard Topgun are given the elite MJOLNIR armor and are the only hope to stop the Nazis from winning World War 2... but they find out more than they should: about Schmidt and the Garm project.
1. Chapter 1

_Secret Military Training Base, Just off the M1_

_12:33 Zulu time (Whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean), 2__nd__ September 1944_

"Hurry the hell up, Topgun." Ryan's gruff voice shouted at Richard Topgun, the team's sniper and pilot. His Black-Sage Scout Armor wasn't built for flying but... eff gives.

"Ok, the fuselage is in perfect condition but if the engines fail then the plane will most likely not glide and kill us all."

"Very relieving, Top." Said Andrew Dunn, Sigma's Rifleman and Medic, his White-Cobalt Recon Armor wasn't built for medics, but was any? Beside him sat Jeff Clarke, the team's kiss-ass Gunner.

"Well then, start it up." Ryan ordered Topgun as he climbed into the C-47 "Where's the start button? Is it the red button saying 'START'? Oh, it is." The C-47's engines started and the team got in.

"Oh, ssshhhhhiiiiiiiitttttt!" Dunn shouted as the C-47 sank in the water just 20 metres away from the runway. But it wasn't very suprising since Topgun was flying. "Fuck you with every cell of my body, Topgun."

_2 days later, same base_

"All right, Team... after our Training session, I have decided that we-" Topgun interupted "Give us all Ponies?" "-Ugh, for fuck's sake, no! We retry basic training." The squad fell silent while Dunn broke the silence "Kack. I'll go get the helmets."

Dunn and Topgun stood in front of the assault course and started at the wall "Big, scary wall, my arse."

They climbed up the rope on the wall and jumped off it, ignoring how tall the wall was. "Jesus, that hurt."

They crawled under the barbed wire and went on to the Grenade Course.

They countinously threw grenades at a mock-up of a Nazi Bunker and Tank. Dunn then noticed Topgun's grenade hit the sandbags in front of them and cried out "Oh kack, Run!"

Ryan observed them from a guard tower as the grenade exploded, "Oh. My. God. These. Are. A. Bunch. Of. Fucking. Retards." As he repeatedly smacked his head into a wooden pole.

He then walked over to see Topgun shooting at the Firing Range, except instead of shooting the cardboard target he shot the Royal Air Force emblem of a Spitfire.

"What the fuck are you doing, Top?" Ryan asked Topgun's idiotic mind... if he had one anyway "Target practice, Sir!" answered Topgun, completely ignoring the exploding Spitfire "Ugh, what the fuck, just carry on."

Later, Ryan told the team to regroup "Alright, Sigma, I decided that... wait, where's Dunn?" "I don't fucking know... sir." Jeff answered.

"This is why wear helmets." Dunn said, as a grenade exploded next to him, sending him flying "My turn!" said Topgun as he ran to the stack of grenades "Topgun! Stop... ugh, what the heck, we're all fucked anyhow."

_C-47 above Holland_

_15:47 Zulu time, 4__th__ September 1944_

"We are currently nearing our destination, remember, if your son is vomiting then make him throw up OUTSIDE the plane, thank you for flying with Ryanair."


	2. Behind Enemy Lines

_C-47 above Holland_

_15:39 Zulu time, 4__th__ September 1944_

"Sir, Colonel Sink wants to speak to you." The C-47's pilot spoke to Ryan, waking him up.

"Wha? Wha? Erm... ok, I'll take it on the radio" He sat on the co-pilot's seat and picked up the radio.

"Colonel, we're on route to Arnhem and will be there in fifteen minutes."

"Good, I presume that the team is ready for the mission?" Sink asked "Yes sir, I have some of the best on Sigma."

"Alright, remember that your mission is imperative for the success of the Operation... maybe even the war, what's your plan?"

"We fight or we die, that's the plan." Ryan answered, rather boldly

"So, we're gonna do it, stroll right in and take the fight to them kacks, I'll be ready." Dunn walked into the cabin "You better be... alright Sigma, as soon as we are over Arnhem we'll jump."

"Like this?" Jeff jumped out... not realizing he left his parachute onboard "Raarrghh! You cackholes!"

"Ah shit" Sigma team stood there completely silent now that one of their teammates died.

_13 minutes later_

"Topgun, stay in the plane and scout ahead, we're over the Drop Zone, JUMP!"

"Hey, look, a pony-shaped cloud."

_Outskirts of Arnhem, Holland_

Ryan and Dunn apparently landed in a graveyard and saw Topgun's plane be shot at and leak fuel "Shit, I hope he can fly back. Do you Dunn? Dunn?"

"Vampires. Zombies. Monsters. AAARGGH! Hey, mom, what are you doing here?"

"Shut the the fuck up, Dunn." The dou then proceeded closer into Arnhem.

"Can I have a pony?" Dunn asked. "Nope."

"Can I have a pony now?" "How about no!" Ryan then looked at the German Tiger Tank coming at them "Ah shit, get in there!"

They sprinted into a bombed out house and waited for the driver to climb out "Kapitulation jetzt!"

"Nope." Dunn stabbed him with his Energy Sword and they stole his tank.

Ryan turned on the enemy radio "The retarted Irishman tried to kill us with his... thing. Show him the hard way." "Shit. They captured Topgun. We gotta find him." "Why, we've been trying to kill him ever since he got that transfer." "Because, he is the only one who can fly a German Airplane."

The Tank drove over a bridge but stopped at the sight of a German APC. "Passports, please."

"Errrrrrrrr... Fuck you!" the main cannon fired at the APC, making the driver drive it off the bridge in panic.

They came across an empty tank after crossing the bridge, Dunn got in it and with it: Destroyed half a dozen tanks defending the barn which Topgun was in.

They regrouped at the door "Alright, I need you to wait here while I rescue Topgun." "Got it, but on one condition: After we rescue Topgun... I get a Pony." "Urgh, fine, whatever you want ya dickfart."

Ryan rushed in. "Schisse, American!" Dunn could hear several gunshots and when they stopped he ran in to see Ryan freeing Topgun.

"Topgun! Are you ok?" "I've been shot down and tortured... I'm fine." "Yay! Now I get a pon-" Ryan puched Dunn, knocking him out.

Dunn woke up outside the barn, next to a Jeep "Urgh, what happened?" "Nothing, now get in the car before I shoot you myself." They got in the car and drove off.

"Now which way?" Ryan asked. "Right." "Right? Oh, right." Ryan gently drove away from the battalion of German soldiers behind them.

"This is great, now we are stuck behind enemy lines, at least I get a Pony." "Why does he get a pony? I want a pony too." "You'll all get your ponies once we get back into allied territory."

As soon as Ryan finished the sentence, Artillery shots began to explode around them "Heads up."


End file.
